"A Dream is a wish your heart makes": For those who struggle with infertility and those who love them

"No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true"

For most of my followers, and myself the wish we make every day is to finally experience the joys of motherhood, but sadly most days that feels like nothing more than a wish placed upon a broken star that never seems to come true. We are terrified to put any hope into having a child; we are fearful that buying that onesie, those pacifiers, or that pack of diapers will somehow jinx us from ever being able to conceive. While we bite our tongues at those "I hate being pregnant posts", or stand silently in the corner of a baby shower fighting back tears. Unfortunately the pain and desire in our hearts to become mothers never dulls, if anything it just grows. Some women are better at faking a smile than others, some will bite your head off for mentioning one of the "10 things not to say to an infertile"(I mentioned this in a previous blog).

 No matter how we handle the situations that come up daily that force us to remember our empty wombs, we are still grieving and so we ask our friends and family to be sensitive. You may not understand what we are going through, but please don't rub our faces in it. Things you may see as silly or harmless: "These maternity photos make me look fat" "Can't wait to get back to the gym after delivery, this baby weight is gross", "Why would anyone want to be pregnant... this sucks!""My kid is being awful today, does anyone wanna buy him?" all cut into our hearts like daggers. We truly do try to be happy for you, but sometimes you must remember that we are human. We can only handle so much before we break down. If your loved one lashes out, remember that your pregnancy announcement may have been the 4th she had seen that day, maybe her doctor gave her the news that she may be unable to carry her own child, maybe her 6th IVF attempt just failed and they are out of money and options. For those dealing with infertility, the mere presence of children can set our hearts on fire, our patience runs short, our tempers run high, our emotions often times get the better of us, and we may scream and cry for no "logical" reason in your eyes, but I promise we have a very good and very real reason. So instead of flaunting your perfect life(in our eyes thats exactly what your life is), be considerate: offer to pray with her, tell her you may not understand her pain, but you are there if she needs to cry or vent, pull her aside and ask if she feels comfortable attending your shower (she may say no and please don't get angry at her for that), and PLEASE do not tell her "Oh this must be great birth control" when she is around your children, because she may slap you. Though more than anything think before you say or do something that could make that gapping whole in her heart any worse. We want you to understand this journey, we want you to support us, we want awareness to be brought to the topic of Infertility!!! 

Thanks for reading,

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